Personal Note

I was raised under very abusive circumstances, like so many of us are. One night, as I was crying myself to sleep, I saw a light and the room was filled with the most beautiful presence of love and peace. My pain was taken away and I heard a voice (for lack of a better word), saying – Sleep in the arms of love, my beloved. I am here. One day you will understand.

Well, I became a teenager and forgot all about the lovely presence from my childhood, until a very early morning in the subway in London. It was 4 am. and the subway was deserted. My girlfriend and I were returning home, after dancing all night. We were almost at the top of a long escalator going up, when she turned around to say something to me. As she did so, she leaned against the wall (which doesn’t move. Only the handrails do), lost her balance and fell on me. I remember desperately trying to grab onto anything to stop my fall. Then my memory went blank, until I became aware of my environment, sitting at the bottom of the escalator, not a scratch on my body, but surrounded by the same love and peace from my early years. I remembered….

This incident ignited a strong desire in me, to get to know this beautiful presence, who could take away my pain and save me from harm. So I opened up my energy field and invited him in (which I believe is really all that is needed to get to know our angels). At first I perceived only a pair of beautiful violet eyes, filled with immense love. Later I received his name and a memory of, what I believe is the only time he has taken physical form, as the martyr, Saint Sebastiano. Angels are genderless, but often show themselves as male or female, so that we can relate to them better. Together with my totems, owl (who sees in the darkness) and dragonfly (dispeller of illusions), he walks with me, forever enhancing my life and helps me make energetically empowered choices.

Today, I do understand, that before coming here I signed a sacred contract. I agreed to be born into a dysfunctional family, believing my spirit was strong enough to break a negative pattern and connect with my healer archetype. Healers are wounded and the wound will be deep enough, that it requires us to cry out to Heaven. When Heaven answers, we develop the power to heal ourselves through pure grace and thus become empowered to heal others. Someone once asked me -If you could go back and have a perfectly happy childhood, but you would have to give up your healing abilities, would you? Answer is-No, I would not. This is my truth only.

I believe that we all have the capacity to connect with our sixth sense and become more intuitive. All it takes is being willing to serve a higher power, walk our talk and live our truth. It is not about enhancing ego and being more than somebody else. It is about being “spacial”, as in giving more space to and facilitate a fellow soul’s growth.

So, may you live up to your full potential and become stronger from the challenges in your life, rather than your soul shriveling up for fear of more pain. May you always, especially all the lonely and abused children out there, find a light in the darkness and a guardian to keep you safe. This is my heartfelt wish for you. So it is under grace in a perfect way, Amen.

With Love and Light to all Susanne.